Today I’m sharing with you a guest post of Matthew Redford, the author of ‘Addicted To Death: A Food Related Crime Investigation’.

Following
the murder of Benedict and Darcy Blacktail, two eggs savagely beaten to death
outside their home by an unknown, fedora wearing assailant brandishing a large
metal spoon, Detective Inspector Willie Wortel, carrot and the leading food
detective in the police force, is called in to investigate. When the only food
sapiens minister in the Government, Professor Perry Partridge, is murdered at
the Strawberry Strip Club, run by the young damson Victoria Plum, DI Wortel
suspects that the two cases may somehow be linked. As the Head of the Food
Related Crime Division, DI Wortel is ably assisted by his human colleague
Sergeant Dorothy Knox. But as their investigation begins, four celebrity chefs
are sent death threats. It’s a recipe for disaster as the incarcerated evil
genius MadCow McBeef is seeking parole; someone appears to have crumbled Mr
Bramley’s apples; and there is an anti-GM food protestor on the prowl. And why
do Oranges and Lemons think they owe someone five farthings? DI Wortel and his
team must find out who is seemingly addicted to death. It will take all efforts
– human, fruit and vegetable – to figure this one out.

This book is available at Amazon. 

Check out my review of ‘Who Killed The Mince Spy?’ another book in this series here. 

I
would like to begin by thanking you for letting me write a short article for your
blog on how Willie Wortel spends his typical summer.

Well,
I’m afraid to say that Wortel spends his typical summer full of angst and
worry. He can’t enjoy the sun; he doesn’t get to take much holiday and he
cannot wait for the colder months to come, although of course that carries the
risk of frost getting under his skin, which is a challenge I have to tell you. 

And
the reason why Wortel doesn’t care for summer much? Well, it is a strange
phenomenon but during warmer months crime committed by members of the Food
Sapiens community tends to soar. And for Wortel, this means an increase in work
and pressure from his bosses to get the crimes solved quickly. 

Often
Wortel will find himself placed in charge of a major sporting event for
example, in July he has to oversee the security for the Food Sapiens version of
Wimbledon. On the upside, he has got the autographs of Martina Navarata-padlova
and Andy Curry, the UK’s only half-decent Food Sapiens tennis player. 

The
worst summer Wortel had was in 2012 when London was the host city of the Cheese
Olympics. He spent many an hour fretting about how he would keep the peace
particularly as nobody wanted to be seated near the Gorgonzola cheeses due to
the smell. And then outside the venue there were protests from water biscuits
who it seemed had an obsession with the Cheese Olympics. Mind you, they were
crackers after all. 

And
then there are Wortel’s co-workers who don’t make the summer pass any quicker
for him. There is Sergeant Dorothy Knox, Wortel’s Homo Sapiens colleague.
Dorothy spends most of the summer complaining that it is too hot and that she
needs to be seated near the office air conditioning, which she insists on
having set at a sub-freezing level. Much to Wortel’s confusion Dorothy often
says she is ‘sweating like a bullock’ which he simply doesn’t understand. Homo
Sapiens do confuse him quite often. 

Also
in the team are two fruit officers, Oranges and Lemons who Wortel has been
lumbered with for the foreseeable future. They don’t mind the warmer weather,
but what with Dorothy’s obsession with the air conditioning, they arrive for
work in string vests and shorts and then have to change into long johns and
jumpers.  

This
summer has not proven to be any better for Wortel sadly. All seemed to be quiet
on the western front until the local meat factory was subjected to an armed
robbery. With the newspapers running headlines that said ‘Ham, Spam, thank you
ma’am’ Wortel and the team knew they needed to act fast.  

And
luckily for Wortel the armed robbers had left behind a telling clue. A single
leaf. Pouncing on this evidence, Wortel ran forensic tests which confirmed what
he suspected. It was a leaf.  

But
not just any leaf, a small tight leaf which could only mean one thing. The
little gems were at it again spreading terror against meat factories in their
desire to force feed the world salads, dominated by the lettuce.  

The
little gems were pulled in for questioning and they soon buckled and admitted
the crime. But it transpired through the questioning that a larger lettuce was
behind the planning of the robbery. When he was apprehended and asked why he
had planned this crime, the large green lettuce looked and replied ‘just cos’. 

So
the summer is not Wortel’s favourite time of year but he manages to get
through. If you wanted to find out how he gets on in his other adventures you
can find out more in Addicted to Death and Who Killed the Mince Spy?

Born
in 1980, Matthew Redford grew up with his parents and elder brother on a
council estate
in Bermondsey, south-east London. He now lives in Longfield, Kent, takes asochistic pleasure in watching his favourite football team snatch defeat from
the jaws of victory, is a keen chess player and is planning future food related
crime novels. To counterbalance the quirkiness of his crime fiction Redford is
an accountant. His unconventional debut crime thriller, Addicted to Death: A
Food Related Crime Investigation was published by Clink Street Publishing last
summer. 

For
more information about Matthew please visit his website. Or visit him on Twitter.